[QUOTE1]this day finally came when u finally dare to say out ur views

before mk's bday celebration tt day, i did, through hx, to ask u come out and talk things out with me..so pls do not use the phrase, "this day finally came".i been wanting to hear from you since then.

[QUOTE 2]i jus dont like it when u call me and pretend to not hear wad i am saying, and on it to loud speaker (making it worse as the sound will be spread out).

do u mean that night when i gave u missed call, and u called back?

and im just playing ard with my phone, and the phone got through, i hang up soon after. u returned call, assuming i needed to speak to u. so i had to speak sth of cos, hence askin u what u doing and playing wif who now.

and what u mean by pretend to not hear what u said? i only heard that u replied my qns, telling me that u were dotaing with tb they all ma.

why cant i listen calls using loudspeakers? u mean im restricted to only listening by phone only? who set this restriction? i on loudspeaker, is not as though the whole world is listening to u speak ma, minor issues like this u also got prob..haiz.

[Quote 3]i have a hard time that day as i am sick+sore throat+no voice. if u gonna deny it, c'mon, i know wad u are doing. those pallets thingy jus make me think of how selfish u are.

i don get which 'day' you're referring to..izit the day when i called u, or the day when u were pulling pallets?
and i mean, if im watching u pull pallets, at one side, u thought of some reasons? it cud be tt either there's no more "jack" for me to use, or 2 pple are alr pulling, or im still drinking my stuffs.u can also call me to assist if u dont like e way i watch u pull pallets?
however, on this particular situation, if you're only pointing at me..im speechless.
If u can choose to look and focus, mainly, ONLY on my flaws, rather than recalling the help i contributed(that is, if the help i gave to u, all these years, were not enuff to cover for my wrong doings), of a fren, one who's been in close contacts together for years, in and out of sch.

[Quote 4]i longed noticed the change in you, jus that it's bit by bit.

'longed noticed the change'? How long was the change? and what change was it?and if u 'longed noticed the change in me', why did u only wan to start clarifying things NOW instead?

AND WHY IS IT THAT THE 3 OF U AT THE SAME TIME, AFTER I MENTIONED IM WITH HC, THEN 3 OF U START TO AVOID ME? AND ITS THE DAY AFTER I TOLD U.. WHY IS EVERYONE KEEPING SILENT BEFORE THAT IF U GUYS ARE HAVING HUGE PROBLEMS WIT ME LONG AGO?

[Quote 5]there are more that i dont want to say

c'mon, if u have all the hatred abt me, in the past, even lil' tiny matters to be mentioned, jus say it all out, like what jin2 did.
i'm going to expecte a whole lot more chunks from u, since u claimed u have "more".
No worries, i dont blame u, for i know i have my own wrong doings, mistakes too. for im human. i jus needed to know what they're.
And, i don need, and DID NOT ask for my aunts to help me patch things up. yea. they care for me. they care for me cos they wan to see me continue my excellent frenship with u..

I'm really, and sincerely grateful for everyone's comments. I'll reply, to each and every of you individually thru same/diff methods.Finally i know what i wanted to know - reasons' of everyone's hatred of me.and after reading your piece, there're LOTS errors i think i need to clarify with you.At this very moment, I'll be real frank and serious - not hiding anything else.

[Quote]We are angry because you said before this phrase "At my most down moment, the only person whom accompany me is only hc"

For this sentence, i MUST DECLARE that i NEVER USE THE WORD 'only', because i know, and EVERYONE KNOWS TOO(u 3, my whole extended gang of relatives) that you 3 WERE LOYAL BEST OF BEST FRENS to me. Yes, i admit tt i did mentioned before that 'During my lowest point of life, hc is here for me'. not tt i said u guys were nt here for me at all, I never said hc is the only person who accompanied me.

And yes, OF COURSE i knew that u 3 were true and almost-extinct LOYAL Excellent friends of mine, especially during my mum's dilemma, her death and after that - tt u all rushed down to the hospital upon rec-ing my msg, and all the chanting u guys did, and coming down for the funeral. yeap, I'm really and am REAL TOUCHED by what u all did. and tts why i only sms to 3 of u when her death was announced instantly. and tt also explains why i wrote my that entry.

ur another [QUOTE] 2"Stop going around and say how pitiful you are men~! cox you really don't deserve it~ stop trying to let others think that is our or anybody fault ok?"

and hey, for this, let me get this clear. I DID NOT, AND NEVER EVER DID, GOING AROUND TO SAY HOW PITIFUL I AM, CAN U GIVE ME NAMES OF PPL WHO SAID I DID SO? I DIDNT EVEN GO AROUND TO SAY, IN THE FIRST PLACE, HOW CAN I 'STOP' THEN?SAME GOES FOR THE SECOND PART OF tt sentence.

ur another [QUOTE] 3AND stop asking your 3rd and 4th aunts to patch things up because that's not gonna do anywhere gd~ If you think you are right and that whatever you did is morally upright then why didn't you dare to come and talk to us that day? (during mk b'day celebration)

ONCE AGAIN. I DIDNT NOT EVEN ASK THEM TO HELP, HOW CAN I 'STOP' THEN?I JUST TOLD 4TH THAT I'LL NOT WORK ANYMORE COS' U GUYS HAF SOME PROBLEMS WITH MEAND THEN SHE WAS ONLY TELLING ME HOW LOYAL AND GREAT FRENS U GUYS HAVE BEEN, AND I THOUGHT SO, YA, SHE'S RIGHT. SO I TRIED TO PATCH THINGS BACK WITH WJ FIRST.

nope. i didnt nego with u guys on tt day because i respected mk, and i want him to have a peaceful great bday celebration, and would not want to mess things up for him on that day.before that day, thru someone, i DID tell wj and ask him come out meet me and talk. but he rejected my offer..*ps. im sry for the caplocks, but i just hate being accused of things i didnt do, and words i didnt say.

these past few months, u guys have been my strength, my source of power to move on in lifeI'm truly sincerely thankful for what u all have done for me.please do not say im making use of u guys(or saying others as well, unless u really hear from them - their explanations.. do not accuse ppl, esp false accusations. they'd be hurt. how'd u feel if others accuse of u things u nvr did huh?), i'm shattered to hear such words.. im not tt type ungrateful person, u mean u dunno me enough? im disappointed tt despite all the times we all been tgt, my intentions with u guys were misinterpreted as evil, negative.

anyway, u know, i TREASURE friendships lots as well. but u didnt gave me any chance to explain, and u jus say things like 'end of friendship LEE CHIN KIAT~'.unless u think frens, esp good and decent ones are ez to find, if not, as a ex-fren of yours, an advice to u is treasure ur future friendships well, and do nt end ezily, like how u said and type - that ezily. u ended quite a few i know..

ur [QUOTE] 4So if you really want to solve this problem then you shall be the one who appologise first because we are defintely not at wrong. BUT if you don't it's also ok

yup, as i mentioned, i initiated to wj to meet to trash things out, he didnt.
tt one nvm, then i blogged, hoping to patch things up.
i did, as much i cud, to save our frenships, whereas u guys jus waited - i think from what i see, i can sort of get an idea of how u guys treasure our frenships. if u guys really really treasure our frenship, it doesn really matters who apologise, first.
what makes it more difficult for things to be patched up is tt u guys ignored me, giving me cold shoulders. Avoiding aint gonna solve any problems.
the 2nd part of tt sentence..can sort of give me the impression of the importance u see our frenship as.

and please dont say you're not at wrong, cos' you're wrong at accusing me of what kind person i am - in your blog, the entry of 25th march of urs, entirely mismatch my personalities and character, because that's what u think only, please do ask to confirm whether if sth is true or nt, ask tt person esp if tt matters concerns him/her, instead of jus false accusing them ya? that entry made me real upset.

In conclusion, i don't think we'll still be the old we(as in me tgt with u all), IF WE DO patch back this frenship. after hearing my explanation and u're still not convinced abt my sincerity to reconcile, and would rather let go of our frenship..so be it. i wont hate u guys, for from what i learnt from Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism, hatred shall not live and appear in my heart, at least not in the near future.if u guys aint happ wif me still, i see no reason forcing us being frens again.. for it'll only cause much misery, if that's the case, i can only wish u guys all da best in e future..

this problem between us, or rather lack of communication, has been on for a week plus already. 4years already, and hope to continue counting as well, we've been best buddies(at least i treated u like one, i wont doubt tt you didnt).
and i'm not sure why after telling u that hc and i became an item, the next and subsequent days you been ignoring me. even when at ahjin hse i cud sense sth wrong.
may i jus ask for an explanation from you? as in, you're unhappy with us(me hc) being tgt, or upset with me personally(maybe due to my sai-bin attitude[cud it be im proud or sth?] or work[tt i didnt help u push/pull pallet and stuffs?] or anything else), or both?
4th aunt's right(i didnt explain thoroughly everything to her, jus told her we had a lil' communications problems) . Friends like u aint ez find. we been thru hell lots thick thin, problems, fun, u guys even help me through my lowest pt of life,(during my mum's dilemma and till the demise of her), i truly appreciate all that u all have done, jus tt maybe im jus idiot enough not able to express them and show my gratitude enough, to let u all feel my sincerity.
I'm truly sorry here, if my actions of the past, have caused u much anger, or even sorrows for tt matter.
i truly hope u can voice out your unhappiness abt me(so that i can then learn from my mistakes, and not commit them again, lest i cause anger to others as well), and jus let me know the wrong and unpleasant things i did ok?
Friends can talk out their problems with each other, somemore we were buddies ya. i truly cherish our 3-years+ friendship and awaits your reply, be it by an email to me, call me, or talk face to face. im fine with anything.
hear from u soon =)

long time ever since i type such stuffs.
thought i alr retired cos of admin errors.
tonight, one of the top Soka(my religion) leader(Mr Zhang Sheng), with a few members came to my hse to change the ownership of the Gohonzon to my bro.
ZS gave lots excellent words of wisdom, and encouragement, which enhanced the knowledge i had about the Gohonzon, and PAPER! yeap. every Gohonzon contains a scroll(made of paper of cos -_-"), and how a paper is much important than a statue instead.
He also mentioned how a sort-of-cabinet-like-cover, is much important than a piece of land.
ahaahaha. when he explained abt the paper stuffs for the first time, my dad was dining outside. when my dad returns, ZS explained another time, and i kept laughing..cos he was in a humorous tone, and he did laughed too, while explaining again.
even though laughter was involved in such formal situation, i must say what he explained sure make absolute senses~
**ps, unable to reveal, MIGHT be deemed offensive[betta b safe than sry], ask me in msn or face-to-face if u want to know*

hai~ these few days are the, so-called sicky period, everyone please take great care yea.

Tom's friend ♥

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